Анекдоты в помощь изучающим английский

1. On Maintaining a Healthy Diet....
“Mom, you won’t believe this ... listen to this," Ryan recapped one Sunday night. "Friday was Emily’s birthday party and we had pizza. Saturday was the soccer party -- pizza. Saturday night was James’ birthday party -- pizza! Then tonight Aaron’s mom took us out to eat - PIZZA!”
"Are you sick of pizza now?" I asked.
"No, I love it. I’m used to it now."

2. Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?
— Since it has a thick finger.

3. I dream to earn ten thousand dollars a month like my father.
— Your father earns ten thousand dollars a month?
— No, he dreams of it as well.

4. A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said:
"Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"
“Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."

5. Generous woman
"I was in a very generous mood today," a woman says to her friend. "I gave a poor beggar $25." "That’s a lot of money to give away," says her friend. "What did your husband say?" "He said, 'Thank you'. »

6. - How old are you?
- That is a difficult question. The latest personal survey available shows my psychological age to be 12, my moral age 4, my anatomical age 7, and my physiological age 6. I suppose, however, that you refer to my chronological age, which is 8. That is so old-fashioned that I seldom think of it any more.